It’s approaching the end of the year. Holidays are coming and their attendant parties - and binges, and hangovers...and with the nights drawing in and the winter coming on its hard not to feel the weight of the year pulling at the shoulders a little...
Burnout often happens around this time of year. So...if you feel a little burn coming on don’t beat yourself up; it’s only natural. You give and give and give and give and give and give and give and give and...nuff said. Of course it’s wonderful to.
But fuck you're tired.
And it’s all very well booking massages, or time off etc. but that often doesn’t help you in the actual moment where you feel you’re about to lose it. And those options may not be possible anyway.
Today I was listening to Kristin, Scub’s mum, give a talk about self-compassion and realized we should share some of the best of it here.
So - practical procedure here:
Take one parent about to implode with kid screaming/shitting/crying/
- Step one: surrender. It’s what is happening. But it hasn’t killed you yet.
- Step two: close your eyes for a second and breathe. Then put your hands over one over the other over the center of your chest. Rock back and forth a little as you do it (hey we can do self-soothing stims too!)
- Step three: realize that every parent suffers this way sometimes. Connect to those other millions of parents in your mind, your heart.
- Step four: use the same language to yourself that you would to a close friend:" wow this is really hard. You’re totally doing the best you can. You’re doing a great job. You’ll be ok."
- Step five: give yourself an actual hug. If there are people around and you’re embarrassed, hold your elbows and give yourself a stealth-hug
- Step six: crack open that bottle of wine
- Step seven: kitchen dance! On with the funk and get your body moving - create some oxytocin
- Step eight: keep going till the next time
We are with you. Know that. You’re a good soldier, making the world a better place by being an understanding rather than an authoritarian poopy-butt parent. Savor that. You are making a difference. Truly.