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Grumpy about mistakes others make

1 year 2 months ago - 1 year 2 months ago #551 by ntls team
Grumpy about mistakes others make was created by ntls team
During a Movement Method workshop at Curaçao, one of the students posted this question: 
How do help a person on the spectrum not to become grumpy when some one else makes a mistake?

My client becomes very grumpy when another person does or says something wrong.
What approach can I use to help him develop in this area?

We look forward to the input from our community.

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1 year 2 months ago #553 by Brimbach
Replied by Brimbach on topic Grumpy about mistakes others make
Could we use the 'drop it, do it, confirm it" approach and act it out between two other folks, the client not being directly involved, but making it so ridiculous funny. Depending on the age of the client...
Little ones are easy to laugh and enjoy mistakes, older ones, make them realize how failure and wrong things often lead to better learning.
Even playing like getting up on the horse backwards and acting that out a bit while the 'trainer' just giggles...
Or, if older, discussing all the failures of Edison- that eventually led to success and a huge discovery 

 “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” “Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

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1 year 2 months ago #554 by iliane
Replied by iliane on topic Grumpy about mistakes others make
Hey this is a really good question and I will ask Rupert to work out a Behavioral Module around this with our team.

In the meantime, I agree with what Bianca says, and yes it's so important to know the age and where on the spectrum the client is.

Remember all this is a process! There were times when we lived in fear of taking a wrong turn with Rowan. It could cause a major tantrum. So could if one of his favorite caregivers dared to have to use the toilet!

What's important, no matter where on the spectrum the child is to explain assuming they understand why somebody made a mistake, why they didn't mean to, how it happened, etc. Also like always make it funny. e.g. if somebody makes a mistake can we 'playfully' massively punish them? We had a time, where I had to arrest people that made mistakes and throw them in "Scubby jail". They were only let out if/when they did something either funny or otherwise acceptable to Scub enough that he felt they could be forgiven.

Also see if you can use the horses and other animals to purposefully cause mistakes. E.g. will the dog be really upset if I try and feed him a piece of salad, or might he forgive me? Will he forgive me maybe as soon as he gets the bone that he wanted in the first place? Role play with your volunteer. Have somebody offer something to people, some people love it some people hate it. Maybe the first time the people that don't like it just say thank you but no. The next time when you offer the same thing, they get a bit more annoyed and throw a little tantrum. E.g. Somebody really doesn't want the carrot but the piece of chocolate. Second time they tantrum over the carrot and the other volunteer can then tell them a secret. The secret is "could I possibly" have the chocolate and not the carrot. As soon as the person says that they get the chocolate.
Don't put too much pressure on here. Have this play out as part of interaction that the child sort of sees or hears but is not really part of. Then when the person gets the chocolate say, "did you just hear that? I think person xyz got told a secret word that helped them get what they want without being upset about the other person making a mistake". You can have an unlimited versions of this.

Does that make any sense. It's just what comes to mind. We will get into more details later.

Also, the more details we have the better. E.g. are there certain situations under which the child really gets upset about a mistake but other times he doesn't mind. What I'm trying to get to is the child upset as soon as a mistake happens any mistake or is he upset about something else?
For example, if I were to come 5 min late to an appointment with that child, is that a mistake? Is a wrong turn a mistake? Is getting the name of his favorite characters wrong a mistake? What exactly sets he off?

And... how exactly does it look like when he gets grump? How long does the grump last? How does he come out of his grump?

Give us a bit more information and we can probably give you some more detailed ideas.

~ Iliane

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