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Forum Why you need NTLS - parents

Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues

3 years 9 months ago #360 by Sheryl
Am following this closely as well as we have a 10 year old part of a class that visits who grew up in a gang in Columbia. Need to try giving him an animal to care for and would LOVE to do the paint project. A local mom brings him to us on the weekends so he can visit 2x a week as this is the only place he likes. The school struggles a lot w him and they won’t let him come when he’s not behaving. He was sent to a rehab in Denver for a week for threatening to cut himself. 911 was called an ambulance showed up and off he went for a 3 1/2 hour ride in an ambulance. Broke my heart.He also hates one the paras and screams fuck you at her when she enforces her rules. He found an empty wasp nest the last time he was here and the teachers wouldn’t let him bring it back to school on the bus because they were concerned there was still alive wasp inside. So I suggested we tape it up in a box and let him take it to school and show his friends back at school outside he could simply take the nest out of the box. That seemed to satisfy him and the teachers but what a scene,,,delayed the bus return time to school etc.

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3 years 9 months ago #361 by troy
One of our challenges is everyone uses coming to us as a threat if he isn't behaving. So although he wants to come the first day of the week is by far the worst. I had a good session with him today, still challenging but much calmer.

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3 years 9 months ago #362 by rupert
Really hard physical exercise can help a lot with a major sense of achievement and team work
Tough mudder type stuff
And wilderness time
Is this where the right kind of forest school crossove could work?
Team exercises like lifting of heavy logs all together to build something
Having to move the horses on foot to different pastures. Swappibg every horse between your one pasture and the other so cumulativekybuta several miles
Tag games w a lot of hard running and sprinting
We've also found that having kids teach horses and other animals tricks work well

~ Rupert
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3 years 9 months ago #363 by Brimbach
Replied by Brimbach on topic Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues
... piggy backing of that- training for a purpose seems to work too- example therapy dog etc.

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3 years 9 months ago #364 by ChantalB
Replied by ChantalB on topic Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues
As I understand it, a Thrive practitioner would say that learning (neural development) will be restricted unless the child feels safe and has all their needs met. If he feels he might have his visits to you withdrawn, he will not feel safe / trusting, therefore will not invest. Could you speak to his teachers? They absolutely should not be withdrawing his sessions- they are not a reward, they are a treatment for exactly what they want to punish him for, and constant threats are undermining your effectiveness.

^ this approach from establishments infuriates me. I feel your pain, I’ve come against it many times.

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3 years 9 months ago #365 by troy
I think we are doing all the right stuff but as you know its sometimes hard to see improvements when your emersed in it all. We are lucky to have all of these things to hand apart from group activities as its to high risk for others at this moment in time. Thanks all for your support and advice.

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