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Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues

3 years 10 months ago #372 by troy
More good ideas thanks. He doesn't have any teachers other than us because he is excluded from every school. Its his care home that have told him he won't be able to come to us but its all a vicious circle really! He mixes with the wrong people, has no moral compass, total rejection by everyone, gangstar rap idols and all fueled by dreadful behaviour of his own. I have even started to rap as a way to communicate with him, which a least makes him laugh. We end up do an 8mile style rap battle with me explaining his behaviour in rap form as well as all the good things he does. Must be really funny to listen to us!

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3 years 10 months ago #373 by vandaleigh
Replied by vandaleigh on topic Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues
Haha :woohoo: what's your rap name ? You should record it !

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3 years 10 months ago #374 by Tatham
This sounds fun for you both! When he is told he can't come to you it is just another rejection, failure letdown. Have you tried giving him something of yours (not to valuable, but important to you) to look after for you while he's not with you? This way he will understand that you will be there next time as he has to give it back to you, You are not going to leave without whatever you give him. This will give him some sense of security, which is totally missing in his life. He will also know that he is important to you and that you will be thinking about him while he's away. It is a long process and his negative behaviour is a way to make him feel secure as he is checking if you stay or go.

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3 years 10 months ago #375 by vandaleigh
Replied by vandaleigh on topic Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues
I just read a kool article the science of laughter and it's deff what is missing from all therapies working with these types of kids . Every approach is serious and authoritarian like . Laughter is cross cultural and necessary for social development and bonding ! Can post the link .... it's also good for pain reduction

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3 years 10 months ago #376 by ChantalB
Replied by ChantalB on topic Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues
An object is a great idea, especially if he sees its important to you. He should be coming more when he’s struggling, not less :(

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3 years 10 months ago #377 by Brimbach
Replied by Brimbach on topic Advice for 14 year old with attachment issues
...I see the same frustration as a classroom teacher where some of the kids get pulled out of movement method lessons to do their worksheet. I think the problem is they don't understand the value of these lessons. I am not sure how they train Special Education Teachers in our days, but there seems to be some misconception on what works and what does not. There also seems to be a loss in seeing and understanding the individual they work with... especially paraprofessionals are not trained to the level where they can be highly effective with the kiddos and support what we do. That needs to change!

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